


Anticipating the Bad Dad Jokes.

by freshfettuccine



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, This Is STUPID, Trickster Loki (Marvel), i'm writing this to ease my pain, loki fools us all again, they aren't dealing with thanos, uhhh this is an alternate timeline, what a Drama Queen, yet another baby fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-01 02:46:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14510838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freshfettuccine/pseuds/freshfettuccine
Summary: Loki drops yet another one of his genius pranks, but this time; he imitates the stork and drops off a baby.Natasha worries that this child will grow up to be the smartest, sassiest, and most spoiled kid in all of existence.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I posted the first part on my tumblr, ( @starkandfriends ) check me out there! I hope you enjoy. This will be a longer fic, eventually!

A typical day for Stephen strange looked like... hopping through hundreds of different realities and chasing after some monster, or solving some complex mess. On a calm day, he would be sitting at some intergalactic meeting for a few hours.

Today was not a calm day.

Jumping through various portals, chasing after the small, but very _deadly_ white rabbit. He swears... it was more difficult than it sounded. It could jump through dimensions, bringing “bad luck” wherever it went. Stephen didn’t even really know what this meant, but he didn't like it. He needed it contained.

Turning a sharp corner, Stephen groaned.

_Nothing. No one._

Had he been tricked by a rabbit? Again?

Stephen stood there, speechless and tired. Did he actually just spend an entire day chasing after a damn forest animal?

Dear god... He needs to sort out his priorities.

Hoping that no one would never find out about today, Stephen looked around, trying to figure out where he was.

Before he could get back, a tiny cry emerged behind a few trees.

A... _baby?_ It sounded older, like a few months old.

Curiosity got the best of Stephen, like usual. He needed to see. And, if it’s a trap, which seemed very likely to him- then... he’d deal with it.

Peaking over one tree, revealed a small pink bassinet, with little arms flailing around. The baby was almost screaming- probably from hunger or lack of attention. As Stephen cautiously got closer, he looked down at the little note attached to the fancy-looking crib.

_Greetings, Doctor!_

_I see you’ve grown tired of our little game. You’ve proven yourself worthy, I suppose, and I present you with your prize._

_Her name is Clementine._

_Biologically, she is yours and Stark’s. Don’t ask how._

_Besides- Lord knows you need the push._

_Take care of her- she bites!_

_Sincerely,_

_L o k i."_

That asshole.

Who knew, this entire time- he was chasing after that douchebag.

And what did he mean by _‘Lord knows you need the push’? What’s he trying to say?_

Still in shock, Stephen looked back down at the baby. She was chubby and soft, still wailing. She already had a fair amount of curly black hair, and was dressed in a green onesie, that was decorated with small black flowers.

Stephen never really was one for children, but he couldn’t help the instant connection.

With a small flick of his wrist, Stephen appeared (with the baby, the note, and the crib) in Tony’s lab. He knew that the genius would be there...

Jumping at the sight of the other, Tony let out a soft yelp.

“Jesus, Wizard, what the fu- what’s up with the... babysitter look? You got a baby mama I don’t know about-”

Instead of responding with more sass, Stephen handed over the note from Loki. He watched the color drain from the superhero’s face, slowly registering the news.

“This- This has to be a joke, Strange. How would that asshat even- This has to be _fake_."

Stephen sighed, picking the baby up. She had quieted down ever since they appeared in Tony’s room, and when her father picked her up; she started cooing, happy to receive attention from the hero.

“Look at her. This is real, Anthony, he gave us a baby and god knows why-”

“You sure it’s from him?”

“Yeah... I stopped by Thor before I came to you. He confirmed the handwriting... And besides. Who would imitate a trickster, somehow get our DNA and make a child with it? It seems like a lot of effort, don’t you think?”

It took another thirty minutes trying to prove it to the other. It was like talking to a brick wall, to be honest- Stephen believed it, _why couldn't he?_

_Finally, finally-_

Tony looked at the baby, and back up at Stephen. 

“... Let me hold her.”

Surprised with Tony’s sudden acceptance, Stephen’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“What?”

“Well... she’s mine too, apparently, so I wanna hold her.”

Stephen sighed, slowly and carefully handing the baby over.

"... Clementine, huh?”

Tony mused, smirking to himself as he bounced the baby gently.

“Ah, man, wait until Nat and Rhodey sees this... they’re gonna freak.”

“You’re not.” Stephen pointed out, leaning against the table in a casual manner. “I’m surprised, honestly, I thought you'd never accept it.”

Tony scoffed, staring down at the baby.

“I dunno... I’ve actually been thinking about it a lot lately. Having kids. I do want to be a dad, I just don’t know how. And now, it's happening... and it feels right. So I’m not going to waste time asking questions.”

“Well, from the looks of it, you’re already doing great.” Stephen gave a small, but genuine smile.

“I shouldn't be this shocked, you’re great with Peter.”

“Yeah, I’m sure the kid’s gonna love her...”

Tony looked off to the side, still holding the baby in a protective manner.

_“So... Is her last name going to be Strange or Stark?”_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't stay away from this fic for long, guys. Anyways, this fic is about them settling into everything. Also, I plan on having Tony and Stephen get together eventually, but I want it to be a slow burn! So they'll finally get together in later chapters.

_"Okay, so how about Bruce as the god-dad, and Natasha as the god-mom?"_

They had been bickering back and forth about this for the past two weeks. Along with heated debates on middle names, last names, and even future colleges (yes, they're already fighting about colleges- but it doesn't _really_ matter; because both Tony and Stephen have connections in many different universities.) 

"No, no. King T'Challa should have the title as 'god-father', do you know how _set_ Clementine will be, if she's in Wakanda?"

"Stephen, no way-"

Stephen doesn't even remember when he and Tony got on first-name-basis, but it happened. And, admittedly, he enjoyed it quite a bit. It felt nice, knowing the _real_ Tony. Not the flashy, egotistical act he threw around. He drowned out most of Tony's argument, mentally going over the last few weeks. It was a habit, to _reflect_ \- and he couldn't always help it. Clementine was certainly a fussy, clingy baby- but he didn't mind at all. Neither did Tony. In fact, Stephen full-heartedly believed that the other was just as attached to the baby as the baby was attached to him. 

"- To be honest, I'm thinkin' that Peter would be the best choice for God-Father. Sure, he's just a kid, but he'll be grown soon, and he'll have help with taking care of Clem, if anything did happen to us..."

"I like that."

"Wait, wait a minute, did you just _agree_ with me-" 

"Don’t push it—And don't lay it all on him at once, he might start crying." 

Tony grinned, leaning back on the small sofa in Stark Towers, the baby monitor sat between the two on the cushions. It was so domestic, so soft- neither of them in their super suits or formal clothing. Both were allowing themselves to _relax_ around one another.

"Okay, so we go that down. Who should we pick to be the God-Mom?"

Tony grinned, reaching for yet another glass of wine. When did they become _complete dads?_

"Huh... Gamora." Stephen responded, after only a moment of thought.

"Really? For-real? You want Clem to be raised by a bunch of space pirates?"

"Yeah. She could learn a lot of important life lessons that way."

Stephen was only partly joking. Gamora and Peter Quill were kind people at heart, and along with the other Guardians; she could grow up to be someone truly extraordinary. Well, she'll grow up like that either way- but still. 

Despite their questionable choice of back-up parents, both Stephen and Tony were happy with that decision. 

"So... Is it going to be _Stark-Strange_ , or _Strange-Stark_?" 

Tony shook his head, his smile small and genuine. 

" _Strange-Stark sounds way better_ -" 

"You're just sayin' that because your name is first-" 

"No, no, listen- It sounds _so_ much better, Anthony.”

“Nah, it doesn’t, if anything- _Stark-Strange_ sounds _so_ much better, it sounds cooler, and Clem will grow up with- “ 

“No, you want that because no one will call her _Stark-Strange_ , and they’ll just end up calling her Stark-“

“Dammit, I was hoping you’d be dense about it-“

“ _Anthony, I can see right through you_.”

_Oh!_

There was the spark. The little thing in the beginning of most relationships. The one you hear about at the start of a romance novel or movie; It was small, cheesy and cliché- all brought on from a mocking argument. Some might call it lust, others might call it Cupid striking once again- Or, in their case, Loki-

It was so utterly... _them_

_'I can see right through you’._ It was playful, yet intimate. Different, but not unwelcome. Stephen _understood_ him.

The two continued to stare- right into each other’s eyes. Right _through_ each other. 

Alas- Cupid decided it wasn’t their time. After what felt like forever, awkwardly staring into each other’s eyes- with no sarcasm or sass… their moment was interrupted by the sound of Clementine’s cries echoing from the baby monitor.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Stephen tell Peter and the Guardian's about their roles in Clementine's life; and their relationship continues to progress. Slowly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry this took so long. I had almost finished this chapter the other day, and then it accidentally deleted... needless to say, I was a little frustrated... But oh well. I hope it isn't bad!

_"Do you think Gamora is one of those 'I've sworn off kids' types?"_

Tony wondered out loud, packing up the essentials of the day into a small, dark blue bag. Diapers, formula, Clementine's favorite blanket and pacifier, baby wipes, applesauce, and a few small toys. They were planning to go out for a day; which was kind of odd for them. For the past seven months- if someone needed them, they'd come to them. They didn't leave a whole lot, with Tony's slight separation anxiety, and Stephen's... Well, Stephen didn't actually _know_ , but he didn't want to leave his child. Or his new... _friend._

It felt weird to call Tony a friend, but that's what they were... right?

"Tony, stop worrying about it." 

"I'm not worrying-" Tony denied, but Stephen saw right through him. It's how he could see the seperation anxiety; Tony hasn't _admitted_ it, but he didn't need to. 

"We won't regret Gamora as a secondary guardian. She's very responsible, you know."

"Of course, but what makes you think that she'd get all PG and soft for a kid?"

"She probably won't, but the others will balance her out. _Star-Bitch_ is irresponsible, yeah, but he's emotional. He'd want to be a good father-figure, because he didn't have one. The muscle-y guy, Dracula, I think-"

"How can trust them with our kid, but _not know their names_ -" 

" _Shush, let me finish_. _Drax_ was already a father, right? He would know how to take care of her. The other three would be good sibling-figures, I think. They give off that childish vibe- but then again, they all do."

"Damn. You really thought this through, huh? Should they just be the Babysitter's Club, then?"

Stephen let out a small, soft laugh, picking up Clementine from her little crib. She cooed, reaching out for her father in a loving way. 

Huh. These dads were _whipped_. They'd do anything and everything for this little girl...

"Yeah, but I think we should give God of Thunder a chance, too. He adores Clemmie." Stephen suggested, walking over to the baby's changing table. If he were to be completely honest- Clementine had a bigger closet than he did... But Tony was at fault for that. 

It was somewhat chilly today, so Stephen picked out a little maroon sweatshirt for her, ( _it had a little teddy bear on the back and everything_ ) along with a pair of soft black pants. Clementine didn't really like shoes; if you were to try and put them on, she'd likely end up crying and throwing the shoes in a different direction. It was the same with hats, bows- sometimes even pants. And since the baby _always_ got what she wanted...

Stephen settled for just slipping on pink strawberry socks onto her feet instead. 

Tony walked by, leaning down to kiss Clementine's head softly. She let out a tiny squeal, reaching out her chubby arms and tangling her fingers in Tony's short brown hair. 

"Aye, quit pulling, Lemon."

Clemmie, Lemon, Tina, Clem, Cleo, Minnie, Emmy... There was an endless list of nicknames for Clementine. 

\--

Two hours later, the pair and their baby sat at a Deli in Queens, accompanied by non other than Peter Parker himself. At first, he had no idea why they had invited him there; to be honest, he thought he had gotten in trouble. 

When they finally asked him about it, his immediate reaction was shock. Obviously. _Mr. Stark was actually trusting him with his child._

That thought actually blew his mind. 

"Are- Are you sure? Mr. Stark? Mr. Strange?"

Stephen resisted the urge to correct the poor kid. He already looked like he was about to have an aneurysm, anyways. 

"You would actually... I've never... taken care of a baby before, Mr. Stark."

"Kid, chill. Calm yourself. It's not like we're actually handing Lemon over to you. Nothing's gonna happen to us. It's just a precaution. Besides, Clem would probably go to the Guardians first- Just because they're adults- but if something were to happen to them, as well, Clem would go to you. But Thor might try and take her, so watch out for _that_... We just thought it would be a good fit, as you have that 'big brother' vibe."

Tony didn't really calm Peter at all- he still looked like he had seen a ghost.

Tony sighed, trying to start again. "Listen, kid, you don't have to have the title if you don't want it- we already have Rhodey as the first god-parent, so you aren't pressured into this, alright?"

"We just need back-ups for our back-ups." 

Stephen finally chimed in, focused on feeding the baby spoonfulls of applesauce. 

"No, no!" Peter sputtered, waving his hand in a slightly frantic manner. "I would be very honored to, Mr. Stark, I was just... shocked. That you would trust me with that."

Stephen gave another small grin. He couldn't help it; the kid's awkward personality warmed his magical heart.

\--

Another few hours later, Stephen and Tony were sitting with Peter Quill and Gamora, on the steps of their ship. The four chatted aimlessly- Peter and Gamora certainly an eventful seven months. Fighting space monsters, running from space cops... and getting _pregnant-_

Yeah. You heard right. She was due, any day now. 

Neither of them had seen it coming, but then again-

Their life was a funny trick of fate. 

"They'll be sisters," Gamora decided, after Stephen asked the important question. 

Peter was practically grinning from ear to ear, too happy to give a real response. 

"Oh. Hey. That was easier than I thought it would be," Tony responded, mostly to Stephen. 

Stephen only grinned, spacing out once again as Quill and Tony fell into a deep, heated conversation. Their personalities just _clashed_ like that. Gamora seemed to do the same thing, meeting Stephen's gaze for a split second, giving a sympathetic and understanding smile. 

Silently, Stephen picked up Clementine and handed her over to the mother-to-be. It was quiet, but sweet- as Gamora gently held onto the little human, staring down at her with a loving gaze. 

Tony hadn't realized it before, but Stephen did. Gamora was pretty much a mother already, with the other Guardians. 

"I want you to be Nova's secondary caregiver." She admitted, looking around at Earth's wonderful surroundings. 

Stephen grinned once again, nodding gently. 

_"Yeah. Something tells me these two are going to grow up close..."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Please leave a comment for feedback/suggestions, and my tumblr is @starkandfriends . Check me out!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
